I’ve never written a blog at this time of night before, but I have to vent! It’s definitely not the right time to sit down with the laptop and bang out a few ideas because I haven’t quite finished my usual chores for this evening. I haven’t quite finished wiping down the stove top after cooking a messy stir fry for dinner… I haven’t quite picked up all the rice off the floor after said stir fry was devoured by a ravenous two-year-old… I haven’t quite put an exhausted 7-year-old to bed… and I haven’t quite recovered from the first, (of five) hypos that I had this morning somewhere between waking up and getting breakfast into me. And it’s OzDOC night…
I have the worst case of hypo brain right now. I can’t think straight. There’s a dull headache knocking at my forehead. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep, but since treating this fifth hypo of the day with a mountain of glucose, I’m all jittery and alert. My body has been through the mill and here’s why.
A few months ago I decided to make some changes to my eating habits and lifestyle. There were a number of signs to suggest that the way I was living, albeit reasonably healthy for the average human being, was not conducive with my individual health. I have seen vast improvements in recent times; I am pleased, proud and motivated to continue improving my health.
Among the list of improvements, my average total daily dose of insulin has dropped by about 40% and my HbA1c is on a steady decline. Generally speaking, this is all good, great and wonderful on “paper”, but in real life it really does bite the big one at times. Times like today when I just feel like I can’t get enough glucose on board for my brain to function.
I’m pretty tough and I can handle feeling like rubbish; it’s amazing what choices you can make about your mindset. What bothers me so much that my heart aches is that I find myself very short of patience with my kids. Both Aspen and Jarrah are exceptional children, complete with manners, hearts of gold and the very best of intentions. It is clear to see that all they want is to earn my love and Paul’s admiration. But when I have a hypo nipping at my heels constantly for over 12 hours I get frustrated at the slightest ‘inconvenience’ and I lose sight of their amazing attributes…. and those ‘inconveniences’ are usually just my beautiful kids being beautiful.
Jarrah was trying to do the right thing and put his mug of unfinished milk back in the fridge, but he misjudged the distance to the shelf and spilt it. Enter crazy MummaKim violently waving a wad of paper towel.
Aspen was practicing her cheer leading routine in the bathroom in preparation for a State Competition in a few weeks. I found myself scolding her for doing it in a such a dangerous space with a hard floor. All she wanted was a good mirror to correct her technique.
I am so very fortunate that my kids are made of the tough stuff. They are resilient, loving, adorable and supportive of me at my weakest, (or lowest) moments each in their own individual ways. I can only hope that they will recover as well as I do from my hypos.